I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
