Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
