I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
