somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
