SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Its about making memories worth repressing
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
