I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
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