It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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