just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
