She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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