I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
