I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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