Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
