I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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