What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
