wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
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