NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
