She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
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