is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He passed out mid-signature
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
