it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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