I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
