wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
