i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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