4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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