This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
last night I used snow as a chaser
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
