I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
