For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
We left an ass print on the piano.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
