I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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