There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
