what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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