How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
