and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
