I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
