using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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