Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
And then he peed in my hair
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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