Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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