HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
