What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
