is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Randomize
