On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Why is your signature on my underwear?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
