why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
