This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Btw I puked in your glovebox
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
