in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
