dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
