Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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