I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize