oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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