fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
