The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
