It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
