omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Randomize
