I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
